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Monday, July 6, 2009

I just killed a rat with my bare hands! (AKA Adam Sneezes Grass)



Well, it was more like a stick, but I'm still pretty proud of myself.
Adam was playing outside, yelling at his toys in his own little language. He was trying desperately to push his John Deere riding toy around our bumpy, uneven yard. I was putting a coat of bright red paint on his picnic table, and Grandma Joannie arrived to watch him for a few minutes while I showered.

I continued to paint while they played in the shade. Suddenly, Sally started yipping at something by the grain bins. I knew immediately she had found a rat or mouse. What I didn't understand was why it wasn't running away.

After screaming at Sally for a few seconds, I marched off to get her away from the critter. Bart has several rat bait stations, and I was afraid that she could get poisoned if she ate a dead rat. She continued to yip and jump back as if she was afraid. Then, I saw her flinging something around.
Again, shock. Why wasn't the rat able to get away? Sally isn't exactly the fiercest dog on the block! And if it was already dead, why was she so darn scared of it?


It looked like it was still alive, so I kept my distance. Finally, after more yipping and flinging, the rodent was still. I walked towards it, and its beady little eyes stared at me. I watched its chest move up and down and knew I had to put it out of its misery.

I cried to my mommy, "It's still breathing!"

She said, "Well, get a stick and kill it." Like, duh.

So, paint brush still in hand, I retrieved a stick from the burn pile and took to beating the rat to death. On the first strike, the stick broke. Dang. Oh well, get closer and hit it some more. After several more smacks, it was still breathing and moved a tiny, nasty paw. So, I hit it some more. Finally, convinced it was dead, I headed back towards the house.

In the meantime, Grandma (my mommy) and Adam had been watching the whole ordeal. Or Grandma had been anyway. Adam had been eating grass. Grandma heard him coughing, and immediately retrieved two big clumps of grass from his mouth.

But the story doesn't end there. After several more minutes of playing outside, we went in for lunch. As I fed Adam squash mixed with applesauce (yum!) Grandma said, "Wait, he's gonna sneeze."

He didn't exactly sneeze, but snot suddenly came running out of his nose. He reached up to rub his nose with the back of his hand, and out came a 2 inch long piece of beautiful green grass.


Ah, life on the farm. It doesn't get much better than this!

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