Struggles | On the Banks of Squaw Creek: Struggles
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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Struggles

I’ve been struggling lately.  Struggling to get caught up.  Struggling to get ahead.  Struggling through the days and struggling to keep my patience, see the joy in little things, and keep a positive attitude.
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I feel like I need a super-hero to come rescue me.



It’s partly stay-at-home-mom related.  Everyone says to me, “I could never stay at home.  I’d go crazy.”  Well, yeah.  I’m going crazy, too.
It’s partly trying-to-figure-out-Isaac’s-tummy-and-sleep-troubles related.  I just want to fix it so badly.  So he and I can get more sleep.  So that I can quit worrying and know, definitively what’s causing the constipation/gas/discomfort.  I have such hard time with not knowing and not being able to solve the problem.
It’s partly my-own-health related.  I have hypothyroidism, which I am being treated for.  But I still have symptoms.  Mostly fatigue, but also muscle and joint tenderness.  Add that thyroid fatigue to baby-not-sleeping fatigue, and I’m a wreck.
It’s partly house-related.  We have so many unfinished projects.  So many things I want to complete.  But for most of them, I either need help, or an uninterrupted chunk of time to work.  And I have neither.

So, I’m trying to remember to count my blessings and gain some perspective.  Being crazy at home with MY kids is better than being crazy at school with OTHER kids.  Right?  And Isaac has an upset tummy some nights.  I just found out my friend’s daughter has cancer.  Phew.  The night I saw that I vowed that I would Isaac all night every night if he needed me to.

Today at MOPS, we watched a little video (Women of Faith, I think) and the speaker talked about how hard it is for women (moms) to ask for help.  So true.  My little struggles seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  And everyone I know has their own struggles.  Many are much, much harder than mine.  And as one of my friends said today (as she patiently listened to me wallow in despair), we don’t want to burden others.  So I tend to think that I should just deal with it.
But you know what?  We need to stick together and support each other.  We may all struggle, but our struggles may be different.  I might be able to help you with your problem, and maybe you can help with one of mine.  Sharing experiences and sharing advice with moms is literally one of my favorite things to do.

So, don’t be afraid to ask for help.  What are you struggling with?  Don’t be afraid to share it with someone.  If you feel comfortable, share it here, and we’ll support you however we can.  We will pray for you, tell you about a time we went through the same thing, or share some advice, if we have any.


Shared at: Let's Get Real

11 comments:

  1. I totally can relate to this. When my children were young I had this same issue. My youngest was lactose intolerant and never slept well. This season will pass.. my girls are 27 and 21 now... They fill my life with joy and I admit I do miss them being little. You have it right.. ask for help when you need it because we all struggle at times. I'll be praying for you and your family..God will give you the strength to get through this season of your life!! HUgs to you!!

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  2. great post, katie! we all feel like this sometimes, for sure. and i agree- i feel like i am swallowing my pride almost when i ask for help and that what i need help with is insignificant. i hear ya!

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  3. Hang in there, Katie! We all go through luls in life. The important thing is to see and understand that it will NOT last forever. You sound like you have a good attitude, even though you are down. Keep looking for the little things that bring joy, flowers blooming, spending time outside with the kiddos, MOPS and the inspiration you draw from family and friends, blogging.

    This, too, shall pass!

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  4. Hi Katie,
    I found your blog while pregnant with my daughter and it was fun to think there was another farm wife in an old house with a million projects "in progress" going through pregnancy at the same time as me in central Iowa. (We live north of Madrid.) My baby, at 7 months, still struggles with gas, so much so that I stopped nursing thinking maybe consistent formula was the answer instead of second-guessing everything I was eating. She still struggles, so some nights we don't sleep well either. I just wanted you to know you weren't alone. We all go crazy, even though we love our children and our country life. I try very hard on the rougher days to count my blessings and recognize how much God has blessed me each and every day. Even with gas, they are healthy and happy and I wouldn't trade any of my three for anything. Hang in there!

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  5. Iam right there with you...great post.

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  6. I know how crazy it makes me when I have unfinished projects going on all over the place, you have such a good attitude! And good for you it's never a bad thing to ask for help :) or confide in someone. I'll be praying for you and your little guy!

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  7. Asking for help, admitting I need help in the first place....oh how hard. I often think I will NEVER be caught up, let alone ahead. I have recently had a lady from our new church offer to come for a few hours once a week to do whatever I want her to do. So far that has included scrubbing down 2 of our 3 bathrooms. It was hard. The first week, after she left, I actually cried. I'm getting used to it, and I am grateful. I want to do so much, and get stuck in the every day stuff that refuses to stay done.

    When I start spiraling emotionally because of these things, I try to re-focus my thoughts on why I'm here in the first place. The shocking conclusion every time is that it's not about me.

    And then I'm free.

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  8. Oh gosh, this brought me right back to my second (our son) who was allergic to dairy, wheat and eggs! I was nursing so I didn't have so many options to eat, but he got better. I did an elimination diet, which meant for a week or two I ate chicken, potatoes and rice. Then slowly, so slowly added one food back at a time. It was so hard (no fruit or veggies!) but it totally worked. Our daughter (at 4.5) is still constipated, and needs Miralax (1/3 does) each night in her milk to keep her regular. Sorry for the tmi:)

    When I have those overwhelmed days, i just remind myself (and my husband) that part of the "deal" was that we live close to my parents, and I can ask for help as I need it. Whether it's a neighborhood teen to come play with our 4 year old on the weekend when our younger two nap so we can talk, or going out after the kids are sleeping, or asking my parents to take the older kids for a sleepover. Thankfully I grew up with 4 local grandparents, so my parents are paying back what they received:)

    We are all in it together, it's just so much easier when we ask for help.


    http://www.stayathomeista.com/2012/04/art-in-bathrooms.html

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  9. Totally been there with you, but mine was insomnia, which led to all sorts of issues. Glad you have a MOPS group to get out with and know to look for help. They might seem like little things, but if you are the main caregiver, and I know you are because you are a farm wife, and there are always times when we feel like single parents, no slam on our husbands, that's just the way their job rolls, it can be very isolating and depressing. Keep reaching out and working your way up and out of the dark corners to the sunshine. We are all here for you!

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  10. Great post! I, too, relate in so many ways... Before I had my daughter I taught second grade, and I TOTALLY agree... It is way better being stressed about my own kids rather than other people's kids, and then coming home and taking it out on my kids!

    I have NO problem asking for help. My problem is GETTING the help! I have NO family around. My husband works 10-12 hours a day and is in school full time. I feel like my needs are always on the back burner. I totally support him getting his degree, but of course, he doesn't understand how I feel as a stay at home mom. He thinks I'm going crazy staying at home with nothing to do (cue laughter). He's great and he does help as much as he can, but I feel guilty getting him to do any housework since he's already so busy as it is. Everyone has their days, there just seem to be more and more of them lately. My husband is gone for the second time this year, and it's not the last. It's rough being a sahm, especially with no family around. We have weekly play dates and sports 4 times a week... so we're busy, but you all know how I feel. On the BRIGHT side ~ I just hired a babysitter! I don't care how much it costs us, but we are going to have a date night every week! We have only had like 3 dates since we got married, so this is long overdue. I'm VERY, VERY excited. I also have a girls' day this Sunday. A friend and I are going to get mani/pedis! NO KIDS! YAY!! lol I love them to death, but I need a day without crying after the 24/7 mom-ness stress of my husband being gone.

    I also feel guilty thinking "I'm having a bad day" when I think about how much worse it could be. My friend's 7 month old son had his SECOND open heart surgery on Tuesday. He's still sedated until his little body can handle waking up. He's having a difficult time, and I'm not sure what they outlook is at this point. It's so hard to think I'm having a bad day; I don't even know what a real bad day is.

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  11. Katie,

    I hear you and I'll pray for you.

    I wish you were closer and I could pack your babes up and have them play at my house for a morning, bring you a casserole, reach in with a magic wand and fix baby boy's tummy...and win the lottery and just hire some dude to do your renos.

    We do need to stick together-yes and amen.

    You are the best.

    You are a GREAT, GREAT mom!

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