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Friday, March 25, 2011

$#&% My OB Says

Volume 2


“Your cervix has no interest in having a baby.  You could hammer a nail through it and nothing would happen.”



He’s said that to me 3 weeks in a row, now.  Not dilated even the tiniest bit, and maybe 25% effaced.  Good thing I’m still feeling pretty darn good, despite being 2 days from my due date!


Here are some others to cheer you (and me) up:


When asked about lunch meat…

“Blah blah blah (statistic) women in the US get listeriosis every year, and blah blah blah (statistic) of them are pregnant.  So if you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it.”


When asked about avoiding tearing during delivery…

“The best thing you can do is to have had a baby before.”

me: “But so-and-so said she just tries to push slowly, and not force things along, and she doesn’t tear.” (So-and-so is a mom in my water aerobics class who has had MANY babies with my OB.)

him: “But so-and-so is having her 9th baby.  She gets to about 6 cm and the baby just falls out!”


And one more, from a bloggy friend of mine, Curly T.  Go HERE to read it.  It’s worth it. :)



  1. Hysterical - if I were having any more kids and didn't live 2 states away your Dr. would totally be mine too!

  2. ok.... somebody wondering why i haven't had a baby yet...


    Thanks for sharing

  3. Cute! I never got any weird advice or laughs from my OB, I feel a little cheated. :)

  4. Love it! But I agree with Jessica... I feel a little cheated that my doctor has never made me laugh out loud. I mean, laughter is supposed to be the BEST medicine, so apparently I'm getting some type of sub-par medicine.

  5. I am considering relocating during pregnancy just to have a few good laughs.

  6. You hang in there The baby will come when it is ready I was always 3 weeks late. Babies were hugh

  7. I've been thinking about you. Hang in there. My labor with Little Bear was a grand total of about an hour and fifteen minutes. From start to finish! They usually do come out sometime around their due date. Just get as much rest and calm moments as you can now and store them up somewhere safe. You will need them later ;-)


  8. Ugh. That sweet baby will be here soon!

  9. Send your husband on a trip about 100 miles away... guaranteed that baby will decide to make his appearance in a hurry! Those second babies can go from 0 to 10 in not time flat - especially when they think you least expect it :) Got your bag packed??

  10. Sounds like my kinda guy!

    Actually, from my second baby, I reached about 6cm and they pretty much 'fell out'. No3 actually did! Eek! And after no1, no more tearing, so let's hope the same will be true for you. Oh, and I was 14 days late with most of mine (No4 was a bit different but there was a major pre-eclampsia scare there.....we'll say no more!)

  11. Oh my goodness those are hysterical!! I had no clue you were so close to your due date. Girl you could be having your sweet little baby right now!! YAYY! Will be thinking about you this weekend!! xo

  12. Hang in there, Katie. You'll get to be my age and wish you could have another one-two-three...

    My fastest time of delivering a baby was when my doctor went out of town and all my people to call to watch my other kids were busy. It was just one weekend in nine months, but sure as you're living, they sealed my fate and the baby had to arrive then! Murphy's Law:)

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  14. Haha, I'm glad you like him cuz I don't think I could have handled humor like that during the last few weeks of my pregnancy..

  15. These cracked me up! Thinking about you. You can do it!!! I cannot wait to hear all about it and see photos of that sweet little boy! We've made it, girl!

  16. I know those last few days of waiting (especially past your due date) are the hardest, but I wish I was there right now instead of 7 weeks to go! Best wishes!

    I gave you an award on my blog today. Stop by and check it out when you get a chance.

  17. Hahahahahaha! That hilarious! I want an OB like that! Love the part about the baby falling out. Can't wait to hear about the new little addition (even if your cervix isn't interested)!