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Friday, September 23, 2011

Momma's New Groove: How I Decided to Become a Stay at Home Mom

You know that feeling, when you're just "in a groove?"

Life is going smoothly,
each day starts and ends with a smile,
you feel content
and blessed
and happy.

That was how I felt for most of the summer.  I was in a groove. 

Although there were moments that made me want to pull my hair out, I loved being home with my boys.  We had a great routine established; one that included plenty of time for playing and cuddling.

As the summer came to a close, I started to get very anxious about returning to work.  But I told myself to "put on my big girl panties" and get over it (or maybe that was a coworker who told me that.)  LOTS of mommies work, and many, many women deal with the same struggles that I dealt with as a working mom.  Plus, I only teach part time, so I should count my blessings, right?

Then, the week before school started, I got my daycare contract.  I love my in-home childcare provider - seriously, love her.  But stupid me, I had never actually added up how much it would cost for TWO boys instead of one.  And when I compared those numbers to my paycheck, it was depressing.  Really depressing.

And on the teachers' first day back, I was miserable.  I just kept thinking, "Why am I here?  Why am I away from my boys?"  I like teaching, I really do, but I like being with my boys more.  I racked my brain trying to think of a way that working part time really benefited me or my family.  Of course, there were some small benefits, but none of them seemed worth it.

By noon that first day, I was talking to my principal about it.  She was very understanding - she had stayed home when her boys were little, too.  I went home and talked to my husband, family, some close friends, and God, and woke up the next morning absolutely sure that I needed to resign. 

So, the day before school started, I submitted my resignation.

The timing was terribly awkward, and really unheard of around here.  My contract (and conscience) said that I had to stay until a suitable replacement was found and after the school board meeting Wednesday night, the search for a new TAG teacher can officially begin.

It's really a bittersweet time for me.  I have been teaching as I normally would, and there have definitely been moments of joy at school.  Like I said, I like teaching.  I will miss my students, their families, my coworkers, and the community I've come to know over the past few years. 

But I can. not. wait. to get back into the groove.


  1. Congrats on the big decision! Somedays I wish I could stay home with RayRay, but unfortunately it's just not an option for us right now. Hey, how's the new siding coming along?

  2. Good for you for making the decision that suited you best!
    LOVE the pics of the boys!

  3. I remember going through this when I went back to school after having Preschooler. It was sooo hard. The entire first week back I bawled. I had to push through it tho because I knew I was doing what was best for us in the long run. The SECOND my last class was over my senior year I about ran screaming from the building. It was such a huge relief to be home with my little man and wait out expecting #2. I wasn't really raised to be a SAHM, but there's nothing else I really want to do.

  4. Congrats! There is nothing better that making the choice to be happy... whatever that looks like for you. I made a similar decision over a year and a half ago and have not regretted it.

  5. congratulations. 3 years ago i made that same tough decision after a very tough year of working outside the home. i know how hard it is to walk away from a job that you love. best wishes to you...

  6. Yay! So happy for you. From one SAHM to another!!!

  7. I remember struggling with the same decision. It's hard when you like your job and are passionate about it. But I've loved staying home...happy to hear that you'll get to enjoy it soon too.

  8. I really loved reading this. It has encouraged me so much. Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me just staying at home with my girls-don't get me wrong, it's where I want to be and I love them to pieces----but even this morning after a phone call with my sister in law about her career and her girls---I can feel so insignificant. It's good to hear there are other who actually choose to stay home too. I don't really know how to put it all into words---but just know that reading this post meant lots to me. :) Your boys are going to love having you around.

  9. That is awesome! So happy that you can stay home with your boys. Your whole family will be blessed!

  10. I like what Cris said. You have to do what is best for you and your family. Great for you that it means spending more time with your boys!!

  11. Congratulations! Cost was a big part of our decision for me to stay at home, too, plus I just feel like it's what's best for us. Mr. Man being autistic also played a role in the decision to stay home. I know you'll love it!

  12. Congratulations on making this tough decision. I too have an educators license, but I have chosen to stay home with my kiddos. I love it, and I feel so blessed that our family can do it. Have fun getting back in that groove :)

  13. So happy for you guys, Katie. It has been a privilege for me to be here with our girls. I know your whole family will reap the benefits.

  14. Good for you. Your boys will love you for not leaving them It means a lot to children to have Mom home.

  15. Good for you!!! You won't regret it one minute. I am so grateful to be a stay at home mom now and thankful everyday that we moved and my husband agreed that it was best for our family!

  16. That's great! And awesome you're in a groove. I've been at home for almost 18 months with my kids, and we've yet to find more than loose, kind-of, sort-of, not really, routine. Just make sure you schedule some time for yourself!

  17. You will never regret th time you spend with your children. My girls are all grown, well adjusted happy woman, with happy lives...and I truly believe that some of it has to do with their mom always available in their young childhood

  18. Congratulations on being brave. Teaching will still be there when you are ready to go back, those precious short moments when your babies are little won't be. Savour them.

  19. YAY! So happy for you. Happy that you feel good about it too!

    You are the BEST.

  20. I can soooo relate to your decision. You will NOT regret it one bit. If you do, and the boys are in school, you can always sub! ;-) More later.... I think I hear my name being called outside! Time to maybe start this thing called harvest!

    SO glad for you!


  21. Whoohhooo so happy for you!!!
    I think you made good decision!!! ;-)

    Big hugs

  22. Good for you! I made the same decision 14 years ago ... for years, I still felt sad each August. I really missed the 'back to school' excitement. But as I see my girls, now 10, 12 and 14, I know I made the right choice. I can't imagine missing so much of their growing-up years to work. It's so true what everyone says: the years go by so fast!

  23. I'm a little late with the congrats, but so happy for you. I would love to be able to stay home with the kids and work full time on our farm, but it just isn't an option for us right now so I will live vicariously through you. :-)

  24. Congrats on becoming a stay at home mom, it has many rewards. I'm a stay at home mom too. However, I am a nanny that tots my almost 4 year old around, but still has it's benefits. I'm also homeschooling her which actually makes me being a nanny easier :) I usually nanny for local teachers, go figure huh?

    A couple months ago, I found your picture of the dresser with book shelves on the side on Pinterest and fell in love with it, I'm totally doing it for my homeschool room! But of course I never went to see WHO came up with the idea. Then I finally saw your blog.

    After surfing your blog quite a bit, it's nice to find other people who have similar taste to mine. I love everything you have done with your home and love that we have the same decorating styles! (I never knew Ethan Allen calls it Vintage!) I'm slightly even jealous of your beautiful farmhouse, ok that's a lie, I'm totally jealous!

    You're Pinterest projects are totally awesome and making me think to do the same ;)

    Hope you have a wonderful day, I need to get my butt into bed to get to "work" in the morning :)
    - Grace